Swandeh Terhide

Acts of kindness aren’t confined to life-or-death situations. We must learn to calibrate our hearts to the frequency of kindness, such that everything we think, say or do, fall within the limits of kindness. This has been demonstrated even by our very own sportsman. Spanish runner Iván Fernández received massive attention after a December 2012 race, and for very good reason. He lost, intentionally albeit. Leading Kenyan runner Abel Mutai pulled well ahead of Fernández, but near the end, mistakenly thought he had already crossed the finish line, pulling up about 10 meters short. Fernández caught up to Mutai, but rather than exploiting Mutai’s mistake, which would have netted him a wholly legal win, he stayed behind the Kenyan runner, using gestures to guide him to the actual finish line, and to victory. “He was the rightful winner,” said Fernández. “He created a gap that I couldn’t have closed if he hadn’t made a mistake. As soon as I saw he was stopping, I knew I wasn’t going to pass him.” Fernández set an example for all competitors in a culture that often emphasizes winning at any cost. He could have simply passed Mutai that day on the track, but decided to take the path of kindness. He shows us that when we are kind, we win—even in loss. May this inspire us to lace all our ambitions with the very fibers of kindness. For it is only in the enclaves of kindness that the odds remain favourable at all times for everyone. In kindness, you win, I win, they win…WE ALL WIN

In the course of dispensing our various duties, life sometimes puts us in situations where our humanity needs to be proven. This is the same situation a brave firefighter found himself in. Xavier Dimples was only 2 years old when his house caught fire, leaving him trapped inside. Without a firefighter named Jeff Ohs bravely entering the burning building to pull the toddler out of the wreckage and resuscitating him, Dimples would have perished alongside the building. Twenty-three years after the incident, Dimples was able to reunite with Ohs, introducing him to his son who was the exact same age as Dimples when Ohs rescued him. “After I was resuscitated I was in a coma for a month after that. I could never repay [Ohs] for giving me a chance at life, I can only live a great life for him & my son. I owe him my life,” Dimples stated. We never really know where any of our good deeds may lead. But knowing the results isn’t what drives people to commit brave acts. It’s that impulse we all have to help one another and the inner knowing that somehow we are inexplicably connected. The impulse is louder for some than others, or more or less frequent, but answering it can lead to amazing things.

Caring for someone who is sick is one sure way of expressing outwardly, the kindness which abounds in our hearts. We are encouraged by the story of Jim Koch, to always stay lovingly kind, regardless of what health situations people find themselves in. Jim Koch, an Iowa man whose 54-year old wife, Lora, was diagnosed with breast cancer, made sure their cancer story had a beautiful twist. One week after Lora underwent a bilateral mastectomy, Jim re-proposed to his wife. They had already been married for 26 years. The loving husband stated, “I’ve known Lora as the most selfless person, and as she’s going through this rough patch, it’s my greatest desire to give her a sign and a reminder of love and commitment.” The youngest daughter of the couple happily took photos of her parents and they displayed affection and kindness to each other. Jim reminds us all that true love does exist and will carry you through, in sickness and in health.

Nadine Chandler was driving cross-country to start a new job. What began as a fun adventure turned into a nightmare when she realized she had run through most of her money and still had a long way to go. She pulled over and let the tears flow. That’s when she noticed the unopened farewell card her neighbor had shoved in her hand as she left. She pulled the card out of the envelope, and $100 dropped out just enough to get her through the remainder of her trip. Later, she asked her neighbor why she had enclosed the money. She said, “I had a feeling it would help.”Wow! How thoughtful of her neighbor to forsee an incident and make efforts to cushion it. What manner of love, what depth of kindness and what intensity of humanity. We can always be proactive and dish out acts of kindness that would save future situations. Kindness and empathy have no perfect time other than now. Hesitate no further and act kindly NOW.

In 2015, nine-year-old Marlee Pack was informed that she was suffering from alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of soft tissue cancer. Marlee was forced to miss a lot of school due to her treatment, which involved weeks of gruelling chemotherapy. When the time came for Marlee to return to class at Meridian Elementary School in Broomfield, Colorado, she felt worried about being the only one with a shaved head. That’s when her friend Cameron McLaughlin decided to shave her head in solidarity with her close pal. On seeing this, 80 students and some teachers from the school followed suit, all shaving their heads in support of Marlee at a school event called “Be Bold, Be Brave, Go Bald”. The event raised more than $25,000 (£19,000] for St Baldrick’s Foundation, a childhood cancer research organisation. “I didn’t think that many people would shave their heads, but I feel good about going back to school and not being the only bald one,’ Marlee excitedly proclaimed. We all need kindness, and those disadvantaged health wise, need more of this kindness. A kind gesture, a soothing word, all would add up to a wonderful experience for the sick and may contribute meaningfully to their recuperation. In 2015, nine-year-old Marlee Pack was informed that she was suffering from alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare form of soft tissue cancer. Marlee was forced to miss a lot of school due to her treatment, which involved weeks of gruelling chemotherapy. When the time came for Marlee to return to class at Meridian Elementary School in Broomfield, Colorado, she felt worried about being the only one with a shaved head. That’s when her friend Cameron McLaughlin decided to shave her head in solidarity with her close pal. On seeing this, 80 students and some teachers from the school followed suit, all shaving their heads in support of Marlee at a school event called “Be Bold, Be Brave, Go Bald”. The event raised more than $25,000 (£19,000] for St Baldrick’s Foundation, a childhood cancer research organisation. “I didn’t think that many people would shave their heads, but I feel good about going back to school and not being the only bald one,’ Marlee excitedly proclaimed. We all need kindness, and those disadvantaged health wise, need more of this kindness. A kind gesture, a soothing word, all would add up to a wonderful experience for the sick and may contribute meaningfully to their recuperation.

Life sometimes starts through twists and turns of thorns. If this wasn’t the case, this little baby would’ve sure left the hospital with a name and in the company of her biological family. “Hi Grace, a tiny baby girl was standard alone at the hospital. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a birth certificate yet. We hope to take care of her until we find a nice home for her. Can you come here and bring her in an hour?” “When I received the phone call, we were choosing pants at Target for the 12-year-old we were taking care of. I and my husband accepted the request without asking anything. We immediately bought some clothes and diapers, got a car seat from home, and within 45 minutes, we carried a sweet little girl named Safe, who turned in to part of our family.” After 4 Months “Hi, Grace. The doctor wants to bring Safe (we can’t change her name) to the kids’ hospital. It looks like she wasn’t tested when she was born, and there might be some things we didn’t realize about. Can you come back from your vacation early to take her to this appointment?” We arranged an appointment. They called her real name on the speaker, “safe surrender”. People looked fixedly at us as we went to the nurse. They didn’t speak it, but I could tell what they were thinking, “Why did her parents give her that name?” The doctors did many tests on her heart, kidneys, and spine. They discovered some issues since birth that essential a few operations and some time with a special bag. We had more examinations, appointments, and had to describe to the doctors why our baby has a different name. “Hi, Grace! I received your message. She has some critical medical treatments. Do you believe your family can take care of her? We might need to direct her to a special home if required.” We waited for it. We continued with her when she awakened from surgery. We kissed her when she was sorrowful. We educated how to take care of a colostomy bag. We purchased things we wanted and paid off for them ourselves. We bought her new clothes that match the colostomy bag. We saw her recover. She had trusting eyes on us. We adored her, and she overcame it. She had another operation when she was 10 months old to fix the colostomy bag, and she never had troubles again. Hi Grace, we placed an advertisement in the newspaper to search Safe’s dad, but nobody has replied. It shows she required a new family to adopt her. Would you love to be Safe’s new parent ?” Our fostering journey is honestly about one simple thing: hope. It is an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to things and circumstances in one’s life. The truth is that children will feel sad. They will feel frustrated. Kids will feel stressed. Kids will get mad. We can’t always control what happens but, but it makes us believe that there’s more and better things for families going through tough times and kids who are feeling sad. Sure, let’s speak about the questions you might have but haven’t asked yet. “How can you care for lots of kids and then let them go back to their homes?” I hope that the families of those people have found good solutions to deal with hard times. I also anticipate that we’ve made powerful and extensive relationships with their real families. And I believe we would meet them again, but in favorable situations. “How do you deal with really bad actions or manners?” When we sense so great a rage, it might really be because we’re dejected. If we can control the anger, incidentally we can stick out the sadness. And if we can hold out the sorrow, we feel better. “How do you manage all the changes happening in your home all the time?” I trust that even when things unexpectedly change and might be terrifying for children, our home can be a secure and consoling place for them. I’m confident that we can assist them feel all right and get practiced to a new way of living together. “I would feel really sad all the time. How can you even listen to their tales?”                                     Every night, I wake up many times because kids want me. I sat in a rocking chair for a long while, keeping watch and comforting them until they come to an end of crying. I help with injuries, give medicines, participate in therapies at home, and complete a lot of forms query for various types of help. I also listen to a little kiddie talk about frightening things at home and see a teen fight with feeling sad. I keep checking the fridge to show the kids that there’s always food. I go to meetings where we talk about how to help kids in school, and I talk up for them. But do you recognize what else I do? I cry. Some days are not easy, and I query my hubby if I can stop because it feels like too much. But he tells me that having hope makes everything feel easy. So, every day, I take a big breath, hold on to hope, and start all over again. Now, let’s go back to our story. “Hi Grace! Great news! We’ve taken a date in March for your adoption party! You can invite anyone you want. Some social workers will be there too because they want to confirm everything goes well.” At ten o’clock on 14th March 2018, I went over to a special place. I promised to tell the truth. I saw our friends and family, 75 people were there to celebrate with us. I looked at my husband and the sweet little girl who lived with us for 14 months. Her name, Safe Surrender, showed how she came into the world. She lost a lot, but we hoped

Jennifer Garcia, a middle school teacher in Texas was four months pregnant with her first child when the baby’s heart stopped beating. Like any other person in her shoes, she was devastated. As the days went on, she was nervous about returning to work. Being a middle school teacher, she didn’t know how she could face kids. After four weeks of recovering, she walked into her empty classroom and turned on the lights. Glued to the wall were a hundred colored paper butterflies, each with a handwritten message on it from her current and past students. All of them had encouraging messages: “Keep moving forward,’ “Don’t give up on God,’ and “Know that we love you.” It was exactly what she needed. Those kind and thoughtful words meant more than gold to her at that particular point in time. Words may have no mass in the physical world, but they’re capable of making or destroying anything . May we continue to utter only kind words to people we meet, as we may never know what they’re going through. Enter

It is a fact undeniable that kindness brightens the countenance of the beneficiary, benefactor and onlookers alike. This was the scenario that unfolded at the General Hospital Ikot Ekpene. The hospital was thrown into a frenzy of joyous celebration and appreciations when a kind-hearted Nigerian, Sir Nsikak Umoren decided to go celebrate his birthday with patients at the General Hospital. In the course of his visit, he was propelled by compassion and empathy for the sick and he decided to offset the bills of patients who had completed medical treatment but were not discharged due to inability to clear their financial bills. Patients in male surgical ward, female surgical ward and labour ward were given top priority. Even in a world and time where selfishness often makes headlines, there are still people who believe in humanity, people who share in the plight of the commoners and downtrodden. You call them kind-hearted people. But I call them the chosen ones. The ones specially ordained by Nature and Providence to work on a high frequency of energy which radiates from the heart to keep the balance of the Universe.

Sow seeds of kindness in the morning, in the afternoon, refrain not your hands from compassionate acts, for you know not when the rewarder will come for you. An African woman who worked as a domestic staff to a French family, spared nothing in showering genuine love and care for the French family in her youthful days. And after many years had passed, distance and space separating them, and the very children she nursed and nurtured had grown into adults. This man went back to look for the nanny that took care of him 38 years ago. The French man was able to meet her and gave her 10 million Francs and also placed her on monthly salary. This is a subtle reminder that aside making life more meaningful for all, no act of kindness truly goes unrewarded. May we be inspired each day to keep T.A.L.K.ing.